I read something the other day that really got me thinking. Someone was thanking their parents for all the things they did for her when she was little. She acknowledged that because of them realizing her gifts as a child it made her into the woman she is today. It really hit me hard for all sorts of reasons. It made me think back to my childhood and my parents and the role they played in who I am today. I thought of all the things they didn’t do and didn’t say, all the things they did wrong and how it could have been so different. Thinking of all the moments they had a chance to change me for the better and it broke my heart. I don’t even think they realized what they were doing at the time but they were shaping me for better and for worse. I so wanted to have a pity party and complain but something deeper in me wouldn’t allow myself to go there. I am trying to see the good because there were brief moments where I saw a glimpse of who I could be in their eyes, things they said that still echo in my mind. As time goes on I realize we all have choices and those choices make a difference whether we see the results now or years from now. My parents may not have been all I wanted or made all the right choices but I can learn from them. I want to be better, a better mom, teacher and cheerleader for my sons.
As a mother of four beautiful and amazing boys I choose to see all the things that make them so unique, what makes them tick and what their strengths are. I am far from perfect but I am choosing to go in another direction. I want to go in the direction that allows me to point my children in the way they should go. It took me so long to figure out who I am and to be honest I’m still on that journey. I pray with the wisdom of God I can be the parent that acknowledges who they are and helps them along their way. My biggest prayer as a mom is to have my children know how special they are, to realize they have been given a purpose, gifts, talents and abilities. I want to celebrate them in all they do and build a confidence in them that will be a solid foundation to fall back on if ever they forget who they are. I can not change yesterday but today I can and so I will.