Imagine seeing miracle after miracle; answered prayer one after the other and still doubt in your heart that God is trustworthy. The children of Israel seen the parting of the red sea, the cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night to lead them. They witnessed every day the falling of manna to feed them and yet they were filled with disbelief and distrust. They panicked every time there was a struggle. They went into self-preservation mode and wanted to go back to the slavery they were just delivered out of. They complained because their accommodations were less than satisfactory. They wanted more and wanted it now. They were tired and a long ways from home. I used to think how crazy they were to be so blind, how could they ever complain? It’s easy to see all that God did for them and wonder how on earth they could doubt God after He performed so many victories for them. In the past 2 years and especially in the past 2 days I have been no better than them. Panicking, doubting, complaining, self-preservation mode, distrust and all that in one day!! How could I? It sounds so horrible and yet it is the truth of all humanity who lives and breathes. We are in an ever-growing state of learning to depend on the Lord for every thing that concerns us and knowing His truth regarding our lives helps to build that trust between Him and us. The children of Israel wandered for 40 years and some never learned that the same One who provided the cloud by day and the fire by night would be the same One who delivered them into the place they most longed for…their promise land. We all have a place we are longing to get to, a prayer we desperately need an answer too, a healing, a restored relationship, a financial miracle and so many more promises that we hold onto. The wonderful thing is that Jesus knows all and sees all, He understands our humanity and sees our hearts. He loves us and is so patient while we learn and grow. How beautiful is that?! I have seen miracles, I am a miracle, I have known the daily provision of the Lord, I have wandered in a wilderness and have seen Him guide me and my family step by step, I have seen Him reveal Himself to me time and time again. God has been so good to me and yet I fail at times to see clearly all that He is. I have received a grace so amazing that it covers all my shortcomings and sees through to my pain. He sees me and is rooting me on even when I fall short. Because of this great love and grace I will see my promise land, I will learn, I will get there! With every victory I will trust more, with every passing day I will see His faithfulness to me! I will get to my expected end not because of how perfect I am but because of Who He is!!
Cheryl Leonard said:
The writing of your experiences and inner feelings is so amazing, how your express what goes on in your life in comparison to the days of our Lord is so beautiful. I love reading these!
Thanks!! I find such healing in writing things out! It blesses me that you enjoy my madness!! lol!