Good morning friends!!
Don’t you hate it when you are confronted with yourself?! Ugh! This past week I felt a tug at my heart to pray for certain things that I have not prayed for in awhile. Oh, I pray everyday for all sorts of things but I realized the reason I haven’t prayed about certain things is simple…I didn’t want to be disappointed if it didn’t happen…again.
I was so sad to come to grips with how I really felt. I love God, I trust him but how could I not trust him enough? The thought broke my heart. The Lord was drawing me in so he could shine his love in the dark places of fear, doubt, and whatever kept me silent before him. He sees my orphan heart and has gone to great lengths to prove his love for me. His perfect love wants to cast out all my fears, one by one, till all the monsters are gone.
It’s ok to be honest before God, truth is he already knows. Go boldly before God and let him know how you feel. He waits to unload you from all your cares and anxieties.
Lord I pray that you show us tenderly our areas of fear. Take this orphan heart of ours and swallow us up in your loving arms. Show us that you’re a good Papa who longs to do good towards his babies. Amen!!
Calvin Joshua said:
This post was absolutely revealing and purposeful. I was thinking about how you referred to it as an “orphan heart,” and I forget that that’s often the “mess” God is dealing with OVER TIME as He draws us closer to redemption. I usually have bouts of freaking out and doubting His love whenever He shows me my messiness. My relationship with my own mom was tough, in that she lacked compassion and mercy when she would show me areas where I messed up and needed correction. I’m still learning to TRUST God in the process, that He is merciful, even after He makes me see my sin and brokenness. Thank you for this wonderful post!
I love you!! It’s a process that takes time and much trust. I battle too with many things including rejection. Knowing that he doesn’t feel the way many have has been a comfort. Day by day! ❤️