Living life afraid had been my normal. My faith in humanity and in God had been tested and hurt was inevitable. I was afraid to trust. Afraid to make decisions. Afraid to speak truth. Afraid to trust my instinct. Afraid of myself. 

My journey from fear to freedom has been one I never expected to go on. What was a horrible mess ended up being my moment of escape from this prison of fear. I had a choice. Was I willing to allow God to remove the fear {heal me} or once again, avoid it? Avoidance was so much easier and a lot less painful. Avoidance and hiding are besties. We hide to avoid whatever it is we can’t confront or deal with. Heavy stuff, I know. Truth is we don’t really know who we are without the pain. Our pain, fear, and mess is who we’ve become, but God has a different plan and identity for us. 

Are we willing to find out what they are? I was and what a journey it has been. 

I was taken to the back side of the desert, hundreds of miles from home, no friends or family, to experience God differently. It has been so painful at times I thought I would die. Sounds a little melodramatic but it’s true. Through crazy situations and circumstance I had to unlearn the old mind set and learn a new one. Ouch! Only God can cut through us and remove the old and not kill us. His steady hand preserves us in this broken, fragile, and vulnerable stage. Thank you Jesus! 

Receiving our new identity requires a trade. The old for the new. We give him all our funk {mind sets, hurts, sin, fears, hate, anger, shame, misconceptions, etc.} and he gives us a crown {Y’all know how much I love that part} that says…I am the Kings kid. I now wear a robe of righteousness that says…I am forgiven. I now walk in victory because I no longer fight alone. My feelings no longer control me, the truth does. 

This is who I am. This is who I’ve always been destined to be…a child of God who knows who she is and who her Father is. This is a constant evolving discovery that I have come to cherish. I wouldn’t change one moment {I wouldn’t want to do it over again either} because they all led me here to my true indenity…forgiven, free, brave and deeply loved, Princess Emilie! 💞