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This is Who I am! 

31 Thursday Mar 2016

Posted by encouragingem in Daily Truth, Encouraging, Faith, Hope, Jesus, Prayer, Self Reflection

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brave, Fear, Forgiven, free, Jesus, truth

Living life afraid had been my normal. My faith in humanity and in God had been tested and hurt was inevitable. I was afraid to trust. Afraid to make decisions. Afraid to speak truth. Afraid to trust my instinct. Afraid of myself. 

My journey from fear to freedom has been one I never expected to go on. What was a horrible mess ended up being my moment of escape from this prison of fear. I had a choice. Was I willing to allow God to remove the fear {heal me} or once again, avoid it? Avoidance was so much easier and a lot less painful. Avoidance and hiding are besties. We hide to avoid whatever it is we can’t confront or deal with. Heavy stuff, I know. Truth is we don’t really know who we are without the pain. Our pain, fear, and mess is who we’ve become, but God has a different plan and identity for us. 

Are we willing to find out what they are? I was and what a journey it has been. 

I was taken to the back side of the desert, hundreds of miles from home, no friends or family, to experience God differently. It has been so painful at times I thought I would die. Sounds a little melodramatic but it’s true. Through crazy situations and circumstance I had to unlearn the old mind set and learn a new one. Ouch! Only God can cut through us and remove the old and not kill us. His steady hand preserves us in this broken, fragile, and vulnerable stage. Thank you Jesus! 

Receiving our new identity requires a trade. The old for the new. We give him all our funk {mind sets, hurts, sin, fears, hate, anger, shame, misconceptions, etc.} and he gives us a crown {Y’all know how much I love that part} that says…I am the Kings kid. I now wear a robe of righteousness that says…I am forgiven. I now walk in victory because I no longer fight alone. My feelings no longer control me, the truth does. 

This is who I am. This is who I’ve always been destined to be…a child of God who knows who she is and who her Father is. This is a constant evolving discovery that I have come to cherish. I wouldn’t change one moment {I wouldn’t want to do it over again either} because they all led me here to my true indenity…forgiven, free, brave and deeply loved, Princess Emilie! 💞 

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Unashamed 11/13/15 

13 Friday Nov 2015

Posted by encouragingem in Daily Truth, Encouraging, Faith, Hope, Jesus, Self Reflection

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abuse, free, guilt, Jesus, live, shame, unashamed

Good afternoon y’all! 

I hung my head in shame for surely it was my fault. Something I did or said set them off. Who else but me could be to blame? Their own words and actions convicted me everytime. I was convinced they were right; every word, unwanted advance, touch, and violation…guilty. 

Abuse, date rape, and years of bullying broke me down and I lived like this for years. Lies upon lies I bought and agreed with. It was so deep that I was full of dysfunction and toxicity. What a mess I was. Although the actions of another were not my fault it did lead to unhealthy choices of my own. It was easy to be manipulated when I failed. Seperating the two was an impossible task and I needed rescuing. 

Jesus in his loving kindness showed up in some miraculous ways to break every lie I believed. It didn’t happen overnight. Day by day he led me and I followed down a path of healing and amazing grace. He drew me in with his love and told me his truth. Truth that set this fearful and ashamed woman free. I will never deny the saving power of Christ that took every broken and shameful place in me and gave it purpose. I stand here unashamed and free and it’s all because of Jesus’ great love for me!!

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