Category Archives: Self Reflection

So Far From Over 

26 Saturday Sep 2015

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Good morning friends!! I had a dream that I was striving and I was upset at others {in my heart} who had it easier, faster. I woke up singing this song so I believe this word is for you {and me}…whoever you are…wherever you are!! 

  • Lay your head down tonight
  • Take a rest from the fight Don’t try to figure it out
  • Just listen to what I’m whispering to your heart
  • Cause I know this is not anything like you thought the story of your life was gonna be
  • And it feels like the end has started closing in on you but it’s just not true. 
  • There’s so much of the story that’s still yet to unfold. {chorus…And this is going to be a glorious unfolding. Just you wait and see and you will be amazed.You’ve just got to believe the story is so far from over. So hold on to every promise God has made to us And watch this glorious unfolding} Steven Curtis Chapman ” The Glorius Unfolding”

Gods word for us today…I see you. I know it’s hard to see others move forward when it seems like your standing still in time. Quit striving for what is already yours. You will not walk into the next step one moment sooner than my plan allows. I appreciate all that you do but this plan requires your absolute rest in me. This is not laziness but reliance on me. Don’t worry about what’s going on around you. Don’t look at others growth and measure your life by theirs. This is how envy begins. I know you’re weary, frustrated, and even angry. I have so much more for you just trust. I see the end from the beginning and your end is spectacular!! Allow ME to unfold my plan for you!! 

A Little Me Time 

22 Tuesday Sep 2015

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I’m sitting here in my car sipping on a pumpkin spice latte and not at all feeling one bit of guilt!! I’m a full time mom who homeschools two children while my other son is a freshman in high school and another in the Marines. The past 13 years have been surrounded with endless nights of football practice, homework, and laundry! 

I love my life. I love who I do life with but I need to take a minute and just do nothing! We, moms and dads, need a moment of absolute down time. Even if it’s just sitting in the car {alone} with a cup of coffee. Ya, it might sound silly but I’m at peace right now. There is so much noise in my head in a typical day to make me want to scream! I’m a doer and I enjoy people. I am also my own worst enemy too. Learning to have self control over my to do list and my urge to do things for people has allowed me to rest. The older I get the more I value just a minute of peace and quiet. I hope tonight you can find a minute of quiet time. Put the kids to bed, forget about the dishes {they’ll be there tomorrow} and go flop on the couch and relax. It’s ok! You earned it!! Make you important! Put yourself on your to do list! No one benefits if you lose your peace and go all cra cra on someone all because you ran yourself too hard! Been there and done that 😛 it wasn’t pretty!! Take my advice…a little r and r works wonders!! 

Good night my friends!! 

Detour to Destiny

20 Sunday Sep 2015

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Ever since I was a child I wanted to be a child psychologist. I wanted to sit next to a couch and listen to their troubles. I wanted to contribute to their healing. As time went on I started school and eventually had children and never finished. The desire to become a psychologist diminished and I no longer wanted to do it. Now what?! I was without passion or purpose. I loved being a mom and a wife but I knew there was more for me to do. 

One day I was asked to join a bible study at my church. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to join because it was for the older women. I felt like I didn’t belong but I went out of obligation to myself to be involved. Best decision ever!!! It was there that I was given the opportunity to lead prayer and teach a few lessons. It was there that I discovered my passion, my purpose…encourager and teacher. I found my mentor and dearest advocate. She saw me. She loved me. She pushed me. These older women were the perfect environment. It was their wisdom that encouraged me. I wanted to be like them. Mature and full of wisdom. They were unafraid and honest with me. It’s been a learning curve even though it was natural for me there was much to be done to ready me for my future. 

Since then the Lord has had me on a journey to perfect that which he started in me. I wanted to be a psychologist so that I could help heal those hurting including me. I figured helping them would help me. I still want to help people heal but now I’m taking them to the Healer…Jesus. The only way I could ever do that was to experience healing in myself first. You can’t lead people to a place where you’ve never been. Using my life, my story, and my pain has become my favorite thing to do. Sometimes we take a detour in life and it leads right where we were supposed to be all along. It was destined. Designed. Purposed! I pray the road you’re on leads you exactly where you need to be even if it’s the road you didn’t intend to take. I encourage you to stay the course and trust there is a bigger plan for your good at the end. Jesus promises to never lead you where he won’t go. Grab his hand and go…your destiny is waiting!! 

He Promised! 

16 Wednesday Sep 2015

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 Turning 40 was supposed to be a big deal. You know, the big bash with all your family and friends. A big affair! It wasn’t. It didn’t happen the way I wanted. I wanted the balloons and celebration but just like every other major shift I’ve ever had it was suttle and quiet. Our transformation, our purpose {becoming who he designed us to be} rarely looks like what we see on tv or dreamed in our mind…instant, glamorous, with cheers and a crowd. We don’t see behind the scenes…the process. In my late 20’s the Lord had showed me a vision of my future and much like turning 40 I wanted the lights, the party. I wanted the dream…now. I never considered the process but he did. He didn’t need my help planning {I tried}. He rarely does. He takes his time. He likes surprises. He adores our trust. He sees the end from the beginning and knows our potential. We do not. We see time. We see work. We see pain. We see limitations. We see us and he needs us to see him. 

Purpose takes time. Our purpose has a process. Don’t despair. God is too faithful to leave us in a season longer than we have to be there. He promised us a hope and a future. A good one! Believe him! It may not happen overnight but what beautiful flower blooms the moment it’s planted? Just like turning 40 was going to happen party or no party so will your purpose. Whether you see or feel anything happening it’s inevitable because he made a promise!! 

Its Time 

14 Monday Sep 2015

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I don’t believe in luck. I don’t believe whatever will be will be. There are no coincidences. God is very purposeful with every detail of our lives. My thirties was a decade of radical change and transformation. I never imagined the series of events that would have led to where I am today. Had I known I would have stepped in and tried to change them. I am comforted in the fact that ALL things work for my good when Jesus is for me. It has taken almost 10 years to heal and recoup from hurts, brokenness, loss, lies, and separations that I never saw coming. I have been given the privilege of being hidden away for a purpose I have yet to see come to pass. My journey has not been easy but I’m so glad I walked it. I now know why God hides things from us. If we knew, we would step in and try to take over, change the script, rearrange a few things, and hinder his intended purpose{don’t lie you would too}. I was a woman living in the muck and mire of my past. I was afraid of a lot of thing but not anymore!! 

Well, today is the last day of my thirties and tomorrow begins a new chapter in the life of Emilie. I truly believe in new beginnings and am looking forward to what this next season will look like. I am grateful that I said yes to Jesus and allowed him to do what needed to be done…healing. There is a time and a purpose for everything. My sincerest prayer is that we all come to the realization that Jesus is for us. His intention is for our good. Don’t resist the healing and correcting hand of God. He is gentle and kind {even if you feel like your dying}. He is full of grace and mercy {even when you feel like you’re failing and far from him}. You are worth the time it takes to become all that he has planned for you! I pray you know the depths of Gods love for you and trust that where he guides is the safest place for you {even though you’re terrified}. Be strong and courageous! Don’t be afraid for the Lord is with you!! 💞 

He Said What?! 

13 Sunday Sep 2015

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So what is the definition of love? The Lord commands us to love one another {sounds fair}; to love our neighbor as ourselvelf {not so hard} and to love our enemies…What?! Now that is just cra cra!! The bible says love is…patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude; it does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 

When I consider what the word of God says about love I find that I’m lacking in this area. Loving my enemies is not easy when the they are…my enemy! I want to be irritated! I want to be rude! I’m not kind or patient. It’s easy to love those who are for us but Jesus calls us to the extreme. He was extreme in his love for us to the point of death. I can honestly say I would die for very few people. Looks like I have some growing to do. I’ve only worked on the outside. You know smiling while inside I want to tear them apart; give them a piece of my mind. Faking it in other words but he’s been working on my inside. He wants my inside and outside to match. It’s gonna be a process because dealing with people Gods way is hard when our flesh rules. I want to be loving, patient, kind, and it be authentic. This kind of love is my goal and is only attainable through Jesus. I can’t go at this alone and thankfully he’s promised I don’t have to. He’s promised to be present to help me to do the impossible. I am willing are you?!  

Pep Talk!! 

11 Friday Sep 2015

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There are days when from the moment you get up the sun has smacked you, the coffee pot hates you, and your clothes have decided to go on strike and not fit! You haven’t even walked out the door and you’re already flustered and irritated. Can I get a witness?! The crazy moments of our lives tend to bring out the monster in all of us. It happens. We’re human, but we simply can’t live day to day grouchy and unhappy. We are in control of our thoughts, actions, and boundaries. Today, I had to stop, drop, and pray. I had to talk to the Lord and then myself. Yes, myself! I said, “Self, you are not going to allow others and circumstances to dictate who you are and how you act” “you are full of fruit…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control!” {Galatians 5:22-23} I had to have a pep talk with good ole me. We can’t rely on “things” going well in order to be happy. Go to a quiet place and have a talk with yourself! You set the tone for the day! Be strong and fruity!! 

It’s Not Personal 

09 Wednesday Sep 2015

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I tried my hardest to not let it get under my skin but I was failing miserably and fast. My heart started to race and I could feel the heat flooding my face. Why people think it’s ok to be mean and rude is just beyond me. The sound in my husbands voice made me mad for him. This mama and wife does not like it when someone comes against my family. I searched for the words to say to ease the sting and I came up empty. Truth is I wanted to get in the car and go knock someone out! Yes, that is the truth!! {pray for me I’m a work in progress} 

I’m learning though that my reaction to others and their reactions are teaching my children how to deal with people and issues. I’m finding that just because I love Jesus doesn’t mean my self control is in “love” mode automatically. I have to commit myself to be in control before I react and most times it’s as simple as just…shaking it off. We are human and have our bad days. I try to put myself in someone else’s shoes and consider the situation. This takes a whole of practice, self control, and Jesus! I have failed MANY times {ask my kids they’ll tell ya a few stories} but I am failing less as I learn that most of the time it isn’t personal it’s just people. I have spent way too many hours “feeling” responsible for the attitudes and actions of others. How people treat you is a reflection of them, not you, so shake it off!! 

A New Covenant 

07 Monday Sep 2015

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Almost 18 years ago my husband and I made a covenant {promise by a pledge: to enter into a contract} to each other. We took vows. Little did we know that those vows would be tested and tried. Our promise to each other and God has been the glue at times when we wanted to give up. We’ve experienced some good times, bad times, and some really ugly times. I’m not gonna lie there were times I wanted to throw in the towel. It seemed easier to just walk away and take a loss but God never, EVER sees it that way. His word is final. His promise is a guarantee forever. No matter the journey he’s in it for life. He promises to never leave or forsake us. His love is unending and faithful irregardless of how we feel. He never doubts his decision of choosing us. We have always been his desire. I have been having dreams of getting remarried and I truly believe this word is for the church…his bride. The past years have been rocky. You wanted to walk away and give up. You’ve said to yourself it just not worth it. You’ve felt denied and neglected. I am getting ready to make a new covenant, a new promise, to you. Because you have remained faithful inspite of your feelings I will honor and show you great favor. Our relationship had to go through the testing and trials. Get ready to experience a new level of love, trust, and relationship with me. This will be a season of warm and fuzzies again. You will see and feel my love like never before!! Thank you for hanging in there with me! 

Thank you Lord for your word for they are life to us. You are a rewarder of those who diligently seek you!!! Be blessed my friends this Labor Day!! 

Settle Down Girl! 

03 Thursday Sep 2015

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I was reading my devotional today {about 3 hours late} and I was so jumbled in my thoughts and was having a hard time concentrating. With so much going on I’ve fallen into this rush rush mode. Doing has become more important than being still and taking a moment to just sit with the Lord. So as I’m reading my devotion {of course the phone rings and the kids have a million questions} the verse for the day is referencing the story of Mary and Martha. If you don’t know who they are they were sisters whom Jesus was visiting. One sister, Mary, took time to sit with Jesus and just enjoy his company. The other sister, Martha, in a panic {me}, was so busy with preparations that she even tattled on Mary to Jesus {sisters lol}. Instead of Jesus telling Mary “Go help your sister” he told Martha {my version} “settle down girl Mary is just fine!” I would have been so irritated not to mention embarrassed that Jesus told me to calm the heck down {again my version}. Omg! I have been a Martha lately, so busy and distracted that I haven’t had a moment to just sit and enjoy the company of the Lord. Life is busy and demands a lot out of us. Kids, husbands, sports, church, jobs, the list goes on and on. These are not bad things yet, they can become a chain around our neck that weighs us down like a slave to their master. I am so guilty of simply not taking the time to be still and know God. Martha and I would have been great friends; however, I want to be great friends with Jesus too! Take time today to get alone and visit with the Lord. He’s great company!!