Category Archives: Self Reflection

Looking Back  10/14/15

14 Wednesday Oct 2015

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Good morning friends!! 

Have you ever looked back to another time and place and tears just streamed down your face because you remember so well the memory? 

I wrote this 2 years ago right after my son left for boot camp {Marines}. I had lost my dad to cancer less than a year earlier and had just moved to a new city a month prior and was feeling so alone and depressed. There was a lot going on in me. I was missing my dad terribly. I couldn’t breathe without my son and living in the middle of nowhere with no friends, no family, and no hope {even as I write this I’m in tears}. I cried a lot privately {still do}. I was trying to be strong for everyone; keeping it all together. We had already been through so much on our journey and I couldn’t be the one to falter in my faith with all the questions I had let alone have the answers for the ones everyone else was asking. This girl had to fake it and be happy and man what a burden that was to carry. 

His plan is not always what we think it will be. There are many surprises along the way and if we are not careful and hiding in him we will be caught so off guard that we will think we went wrong somewhere or that he left us. His promise to us is to make ALL things work for our good. No matter what the “all” is it can be used if we allow him to use it. He also promised to never leave or forsake us. This one is a biggie for me. The feeling of abandonment is a common tool the enemy uses to isolate us. Don’t fall for it…he is a liar! 

I can remember writing this and feeling so at peace. I love those moments where his voice can be heard so clearly. I was trying to be strong and bear the load that he alone was meant to carry…my questions, my disappointment, my grief, my sorrow, and every other broken part in me. The message was loud and clear…I can NOT but He CAN! 

What are you trying to do that has you overwhelmed? Are you carrying a load that is too heavy? Feel like you’re drowning? Trust that even though your waters may be turbulent right now or even muddied God is still in control. 

 Have a good day friends!! 

Liar Liar 10/12/15 

12 Monday Oct 2015

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Good afternoon friends!!

Don’t you hate it when a thought interrupts your day and overstays it’s welcome?! Me too!! I was doing the dishes {when am I not?} and I had a thought about dishonest people {ugh}. Trying to decode why people lie is almost impossible. You’ll hear lots of reasons why but truth is there is only one real reason anyone lies…fear. I know all the times I’ve lied {guilty} has been out of fear. Fear of consequences. Fear of what the truth will look /sound like. Fear of what I will look like if I tell the truth. Honestly, the truth sometimes is a scary thing. 

Truth requires more out of us. Telling a lie is the easy way out. We don’t have to confront ourselves or others. We get to hide a little bit longer and avoid the inevitable…truth or consequence {a result or effect of an act or condition}. The bible says the truth will set you free…free from what? Free from strings that lies are attached to {my condensed definition}. Guilt. Shame. Condemnation and ultimately sin. We as Christians know the truth {Jesus, his word} and yet we settle for lies everyday that chain and bind us like a slave to the enemy and in return it results in a lifestyle of sin and destruction. 

I wanted to judge the liar and realized that I too, have been one. I am one every time I tell myself anything contrary to Gods word; when I comply and agree with the enemy when he whispers lies in my ear. I want to be an honest person but I must know the truth…Gods word! Live it. Believe it. Speak it and then I’m free from lies and the hurt they bring. 

Lying is a temporary fix for a deeply rooted fear. God is the only one who can dismantled our fears with his truth and love that leads to right believing and right living. Next time you’re tempted to lie think…What am I afraid of? I guarantee if you process this and begin to practice truth in your inner being you’ll be less tempted to lie to yourself or anyone else. 

Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, And in the hidden part [of my heart] You will make me know wisdom.           Psalm 51:6 

Keep in Mind 10/11/15 

11 Sunday Oct 2015

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Good evening friends! 

Monday is quickly trying to take over my Sunday and that is no bueno! LOL! 

Are you dreading tomorrow? Well, here is a list of things we need to keep in mind this coming week {repeat as often as you need to}.  

  • My God has already gone before me {nothing is by happen chance or a result of Gods failure} 
  • I will pursue peace in every decision {if it dosen’t feel right I won’t do it, eat it, or say it} 
  • I am only responsible for myself {what others do is a result of their choices not mine} 
  • I am deeply loved by a good God {when doubt enters in and I can’t see that the devil is a lie} 
  • I will see the goodness of the Lord this week {expectations are a set up for surprises} 
  • Nothing and no one is in charge of my happiness {this is an internal job} 
  • Smile! {people are watching} 
  • Pray! {fail to pray plan to panic} 
  • Live! {don’t spend so much time making a living that you forget to enjoy living}     

My sincerest hope is that we don’t dread our life. Look around and see all that God has done. Focus on the good. Look for it and dwell there. I pray that the Lord cover and protect you and that you know the depths of his love for you! 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. {Proverbs 3:5-6}

Have a great week!! 

Protected 10/9/15 

09 Friday Oct 2015

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Good morning friends!! 

It’s raining and I just love this weather! Rain boots, umbrella, coats and scarves oh my!

God likes to speak to me in the most silliest of ways. I was going through my pics to delete them and saw this one and it all of the sudden hit me. I was smiling in the rain, with an umbrella, completely dry! Usually, I see it’s raining and I figure oh well I’ll just get a little wet, no biggie and then regret not bringing one. Ugh! How many times do we assume we can handle what’s going on without the help of the Lord? 

Today’s encouraging word is…allow the Lord to be your umbrella {something which provides protection}. He is able to protect you during the changing elements {seasons, issues, circumstances} of your life. Don’t leave him in the back seat {guilty}, or coat closet {guilty again} when you know you need him. So many times we see what’s going on and we try to weather the storm on our own; protect ourselves. Beloved friend, Christ came to be our umbrella of protection. I love the analogy of a mother hen protecting her chicks under her wings. Life is hard sometimes. Sometimes it’s just a little rain and other times it’s a downpour; either way we need him! He desires to be first pick. Go to him today and ask for what you need. Don’t assume you can do this on your own. Your need is indicative that you can’t. It’s ok. Be needy. Seek shelter. Run for cover! He can keep you smiling, dry, and protected all while you enjoy the journey! 

Have a great weekend my friends!! 

Insecure and Loved ~ Encouraging word 10/7/15 

07 Wednesday Oct 2015

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Good morning friends!! 

Ever have one of those days where you look at yourself and you don’t like what you see?! Yep, that’s been me the past few days. The enemy enjoys coming in and shining a BIG spot light on all my weaknesses and insecurities. What a jerk!! 

As I was driving this morning I was reminded of how much Jesus cares about what concerns us; how much he loves us. Yes, my freaking out over a sun spot concerns Jesus too. Why? When he died he not only cancelled the debt of sin on my life but he conquered over every lie the enemy would ever use against me. Self hatred is a lie! Criticism that makes me doubt myself…lie! Thinking I’m not good enough…lie! Wanting to look like so and so…lie! Truth is I have been fearfully and wonderfully made. Did you know that with all the hairs I lose in a day {a lot} Jesus still knows the number of them?! He looks at me with rose colored glasses and sees a beautiful princess clothed in robes of righteousness. When all I see is a 40 year old struggling to have perfect skin he sees me flawless. Oh to be able to see myself as he does. We try so hard to be this and that without ever realizing who we already are…chosen. Accepted. Forgiven. Loved. 

Lord, you know our struggle is real. You see us, hear us, and know us. Help us as we learn to accept who we are in you. Remind us of all the beauty you see when you look at us both inside and out. Cover us with your arms of assurance as we wrestle with our insecurities. We want to be confident. We want to believe all you see in us. Help our unbelief today. Squash it! Demolish it! In Jesus name!! Amen!! 

Honesty ~ Encouraging word 10/5/15

05 Monday Oct 2015

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Good morning friends!! 

Don’t you hate it when you are confronted with yourself?! Ugh! This past week I felt a tug at my heart to pray for certain things that I have not prayed for in awhile. Oh, I pray everyday for all sorts of things but I realized the reason I haven’t prayed about certain things is simple…I didn’t want to be disappointed if it didn’t happen…again. 

I was so sad to come to grips with how I really felt. I love God, I trust him but how could I not trust him enough? The thought broke my heart. The Lord was drawing me in so he could shine his love in the dark places of fear, doubt, and whatever kept me silent before him. He sees my orphan heart and has gone to great lengths to prove his love for me. His perfect love wants to cast out all my fears, one by one, till all the monsters are gone. 

It’s ok to be honest before God, truth is he already knows. Go boldly before God and let him know how you feel. He waits to unload you from all your cares and anxieties.

  Lord I pray that you show us tenderly our areas of fear. Take this orphan heart of ours and swallow us up in your loving arms. Show us that you’re a good Papa who longs to do good towards his babies. Amen!!


Not Today!! Encouraging Word 10/4/15 

04 Sunday Oct 2015

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There I sat getting ready to eat breakfast with my family when the phone vibrates…an angry text. Usually, my default reaction would be to respond quickly without a moments hesitation…not today. I whispered a silent prayer and left it there. 

I have come to a place where my peace is more important than someone’s piece of mind. I had a choice to either let it get me mad and ruin my breakfast or I could consider the source and enjoy my French toast {which by the way were delish}. 

I refuse to fight a battle that is not mine. I rely on the Holy Spirit to help me pick and choose wisely. So many times I’ve fallen prey to the trap of someone’s else anger and paid the price, dearly. I am so glad I have a friend, a helper, who guides me into all truth in every situation. Don’t neglect the still small voice. It is always in your best interest to pay attention and be obedient even if it is to…be quiet {ouch}! 

What a friend we have in Jesus all our sorrows and griefs to bear…oh what peace we often forfeit oh what needless pain we bear…all because we did not carry everything to God in prayer. 

“Not by might, nor by power, but my Spirit,” says the Lord. Zechariah 4:6 

Why?! Encouraging Word 9/30/15 

30 Wednesday Sep 2015

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There is a story in the bible {John 9} that talks about a blind man who was blind from birth. The disciples asked “who sinned, was it his mother or father?” Jesus clearly said neither,  but it was an opportunity to see the miracle working power of Jesus.

I wonder what we see today that leaves us asking “whose fault is this?” So many issues. So many hurts. Fact is people are hurting. The man was clearly blind. Did it matter how? I wonder if we stopped trying to find blame and found an opportunity for God to show up and display himself in front of a skeptical world, whose life would be changed? 

What have you looked at lately that bothers you? Maybe some injustice or problem that begs an answer of why. Are you in a position to help? Would you? We won’t always have an answer to the whys, but we can always apply Jesus to every situation. Ask the Lord to show you what part you can play in making this world a better place. Seek out opportunities to show the love and grace of God to hurting people. Don’t judge. Don’t ask questions that lead to pointing fingers, but point them to Jesus instead! 

Courage…Encouraging Word for 9/29/15 

29 Tuesday Sep 2015

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Good morning friends!! I feel it in my heart that someone needs to know this today!! 

When I was little I heard that children were to be seen and not heard and in order to keep the peace we were to keep quiet. Here’s my thought on that…silence is NOT peace…it’s the absence of sound and how could we ever keep the peace when there was none to begin with?  

I saw and experienced injustice and dysfunction all around me as a child. It created a fear based mentality that crippled me from speaking truth. No matter how bad I wanted to speak up I couldn’t. There was no peace only silence; they are NOT the same. The idea that my words could bring destruction haunted me until I discovered that I was meant to bring destruction to lies with Gods word in me!! God has given us an arsenal, his WORD, to combat the lies of the enemy. Had I known that my destiny was to speak and use my words to tear down lies I wouldn’t have wasted so many years in silence. You see the moment a truth is spoken we have just spoken life. We have declared war over death in an area! I love it!! Our words our powerful!! They can bless or curse. They can tear down or build up. They speak life or death. We choose. We have authority in Christ and the enemy wants to keep us from using it.

The lies from my childhood had caused a lot of damage but those lies were no match against Gods truth. It doesn’t happen overnight but this damage can be reversed!! I’ve had to dig deep and discover what God says about me and my life. What he likes and dislikes. What pleases him, what doesn’t. He longs to shed his light on the dark abandoned places of our heart, the areas where no one is allowed to go, not even us. He longs for us to speak the truth to ourselves even if it hurts, even if we’ve never said it out loud…we need to. It’s time to be seen and heard. It’s time to be free. 

I don’t know where you are today in your journey but I want to encourage you that you are seen and heard by a God who deeply loves you. He wants you to know his heart towards you. He wants to dismantle every lie and replace it with his freeing truth. He wants to be your friend, your refuge, your safe place to hide. He wants you to know you’re safe with him and in him there is real peace. Friends don’t waste another moment in silence and fear. God is waiting and knocking on your hearts door…will you have the courage to open it and let him in and find your voice?! 

Prayer for Today 9-27-15 

27 Sunday Sep 2015

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Good morning friends!!

From the moment I woke up I had the thought that I needed to call someone specific to pray with me and then the word “allies” immediately came to mind {I am learning to not dismiss the little things or the little movies that play out in my mind. This is a new concept that has set me free from thinking I am crazy or random}. Leviticus 26:8 said that…Five of you shall chase a hundred, and a hundred of you shall chase ten thousand, and your enemies shall fall before you by the sword. 

There is power in unity and joining forces with our allies {ally: to join yourself with another person, group, etc., in order to get or give support} is what the Lord is calling us to do, today. He never gives us a strategy that will fail. We must pray from a standpoint of victory and who we align ourselves with matters. We need people who will fight with us in prayer and not let go until victory has been manifested. Go and unite and see strongholds broken, captives set free, the sick be healed, our families be whole, financial stability and abundance to overflow and for God to invade our lives with his presence!!!  

I pray today that we become aware of who is with us and for us; that our allies will be evident and that we have the courage to join with them. I pray a spirit of boldness to overtake us as we pray in unity with one another for where two or more are gathered we know that You are in our midst. We thank you for strategies that lead us into victory at every turn. Open our ears to hear your voice and our eyes to see what you see. Lord let us walk out in the natural what already is in the spirit. In Jesus name we pray AMEN!!